You know in the old movies when the bad boy says something crude to the glamour girl and she slaps him across the face? Or any of the moments when Scarlett O'Hara slaps Ashley or Rhett? I've always wanted to have one of those moments. When a man says something dastardly and, shocked, I crack him one right to the cheek. Seriously, this is something I've looked forward to so much that I've actually mentioned it to people.
I did it in California!!! My cousin took me to a bar where the manager got drunk and started hitting on me. He was literally two inches from my face saying inappropriate things and trying to sit on my lap. I was good naturedly laughing him off. At one point he accidentally stepped on my foot and automatically I said "Ow! You stepped on my foot!" He grinned at me and said nothing. I asked him if he wasn't going to apologize. His exact response: "I don't have to apologize. I'm the coolest guy in the world."
Pissed, I walked away from him and he followed me, hopping onto a barstoool. The leg of it landed right on top of my foot, the same one he had just stepped on. It HURT. Without thinking I slapped him across the face, hard. He looked like a shocked puppy. I was immediately mortified that I had lost my temper so badly, but honestly, he had been pissing me off for an hour.
In conclusion, my slap was not nearly as satisfying as I always fantasized it would be. Maybe because the guy I hit was a total white trash possum breathed dogfaced crudbag.
I think I would have felt better if I'd slapped a devastatingly handsome rogue. Think there might be one at Fifty South Friday night? Can't wait. :)
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4 comments:
You go girl!! He deserved that and a knee in the nuts. What a scumbag!!! I'm sorry it didn't feel as good as you expected though. Normally in the movies the guy grabs the girl and they kiss passionately. Maybe it's a GOOD thing it didn't turn out the way it does in the movies. Hope your foot is okay...but at least your dignity is in tact!
"white trash possum breathed dogfaced crudbag". This is the best thing i've read all day. How do you know what a possum's breath smells like, though?
I'd have given 3 beers to see that. Damnit.
My life is so dull.
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